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You Winning Life w/ Jason Wasser, LMFT: Ep 2- Evan Stewart: How To Live An Obsessed Life” Transcript

You Winning Life Podcast Episode 2 with Evan Stewart

Speaker 1: 00:00 This is the you winning You winning Life podcast, your number one source for mastering a positive existence. Each episode we’ll be interviewing exceptional people, giving you empowering insights and guiding you to extraordinary outcomes. Learn from specialists in the worlds of integrative and natural wellness, spirituality, psychology, and entrepreneurship, so you too, can be winning life. Now, here’s your host, licensed marriage and family therapist, certified neuro emotional technique, practitioner and certified entrepreneur coach Jason Wasser.

Jason Wasser: 00:36 Everybody, welcome back to the you winning life podcast. I’m Jason Wasser, licensed marriage and family therapist here at my office in Fort Lauderdale today. I am super excited for my guest who has been incredibly gracious to share this morning with me. It’s Evan Stewart. He is a master coach, trainer, entrepreneur with years of experience building businesses and people to a higher potential Evan’s success. Success as an eight figure closer, not a seven but an eight figure closer. Geez man. His background is one of the top producing realtors in his market expertise, working with luxury and ultra luxury products and years acting as an entrepreneurial consultant to growing businesses work together to provide the perfect framework to identify, learn, adapt, powerful structures in professional growth. So today, Evan counsels businesses on duplicating top quality clients, mastering objections, working with high net worth individuals, shortening their sales cycle, increasing a position in the marketplace, employee productivity and retention and more. I don’t know how he keeps it all together. Evan is a speaker coach. He is for sure regarded as a leader in implementing this mindset and the actions required to build a life that you can surely be obsessed with. Evan, thank you so much for hanging out with me today.

Evan Stewart: 01:55 Jason, thank you so much for having me on. I was so, so excited when you sent that message and said we’ve got to get together on your show and I really enjoy spending time with you. I think that when we collaborate our energy and the things that come out of that conversation are superb. So really happy to be here.

Jason Wasser: 02:10 Thanks so much. Well, we both have that belief that like minded people doing like-minded things are exactly tackle together. And we have a mutual colleague, right. And coach in common which we’re going to get into a little bit later. But so this massive kick butt bio, right? You’re, you’re doing so much. How old are you, first of all.
Evan Stewart: 02:30 Thank you. I turned 26 in December.

Jason Wasser: 02:33 That’s, that’s insane. Right? So I’m turning 41 in a few weeks and you’re 26 years old and, and right now , it’s crazy cause this entrepreneurship thing is right now. Right. And starting off in real estate and in coaching and you’re doing online training programs, right. Tell us who you really are and what’s your mission in life.

Evan Stewart: 03:00 I love that. That’s a, that’s a powerful, powerful question. I think. And that’s a question that I’ve had to ask myself over the years as well as defining that. So at my core, I’m just an individual that believes in helping other people. I believe that my sole purpose in life, my mission is to, well, really my, my gift that allows me to live my mission is to help other people identify their giftedness and then live a life that plays in their giftedness system, defaults to their weaknesses. You see, I looked around and I saw so many people were defaulting to weaknesses and weaknesses doesn’t necessarily mean like, I’m good at this and I’m bad at this, so I’m living in that. It could just mean that I’m willfully sacrificing my potential because I am building a life for people that are expecting one thing. When in reality I should be doing something different. And so at my core, everything that I do is pushing out to impact, inspire, and improve the lives of other people. Because I fundamentally believe that that’s exactly why I’m here. So every, every inkling of me, whether it’s this conversation, whether it’s working in business, whether it’s working with people, regardless, everything I do, I just try and leave people better than I found them. And, and help other people identify and live in their giftedness.

Jason Wasser: 04:13 That’s awesome. So you just used the words “building a life” and right. There’s a lot of talk out there about this generation of millennials and young professionals that they’re lazy, that they’re not willing to put the work in and right. But yet we know that technology and entrepreneurship and things that are happening in the world are coming a lot out of that generation. So when you say building a life, what do you think are the key building blocks?
Evan Stewart: 04:39 Well this is actually something I’m going to be talking about at the conference when we talk about this concept of obsession, really that, that that’s the answer to the question starts with obsession. And that’s my whole concept. The whole build a life you can be obsessed about. Really. It’s just how do you have something so exciting, fascinating and motivating that when your eyes open, you cannot go back to sleep, where every morning it’s like Christmas morning where you’re living in such a magical zone that you get excited just to be able to attack the day. That’s what I talk about. And that to me is obsession. And without going too far down that rabbit hole here because some of that will be reserved for the first obsession keynote conference is obsession is, is three things. It’s an emotion first and then it’s a mindset and then it’s a discipline.

Evan Stewart: 05:28 So when I talk about building, what I’m talking about is identifying ” in the motion”, using it as e motion, right? And propelling fuel to push you towards some further diligence towards a concept, right? Obsession starts with revelation. It’s to get so caught in a cause that you become evangelical about a purpose and you baptize your world and your mission, you saturate anyone that interacts with you in that specific cause. And so the emotion propels you into the cause, which works on the mindset. And there’s specific secrets I’ll talk about at the conference of how to develop the mindset. And then the discipline is how we keep it. Because we’ve all heard the saying it’s not getting it, it’s keeping it. Everyone gets their, their brief moment of fame. Everyone will come in contact a little bit of money every once in awhile. It’s, it’s, it’s keeping it and so the whole concept of building a life is how do we find something to get behind, actually get behind it, build in sustainability to have that be our life for as long as we live.

Evan Stewart: 06:32 And then through that, through the obedience of working in our obsession, how do we cause obsession overflow or what is the saturation of pouring out of all the, the harvest of your continual continual planting, pouring out into everyone’s, you know, everyone’s life that you care about so that, you know, in an overarching conceptual sense is really what I’m talking about. But there are ways to do it and it takes a lot of time. I was, I’m, I’m, I’m blessed to have gotten started really, really early and I fundamentally believe that I’ve found my obsessions early in life that propelled me and excite me to continue to push hard here. But something that you mentioned that I think is really interesting, I’d love to highlight is this concept of the millennial generation because millennial generation is interesting. There are people in the millennial generation that are frigging lazy.

Evan Stewart: 07:26 I’ll say that. But the funny thing is there are people in every generation that are lazy. It’s just that in the millennial generation, it’s highlighted more because everything that we do nowadays is amplified. If you’re great or if you’re crap, it’s going to be amplified because you can immediately have a point of comparison, right? Whereas before, if you want to sit down all day in front of the TV, you know, before cell phones and all that, right? You grab your nasty junk food and sit in front of the TV. Oh, that was you. And you didn’t quite know what other people were doing until you put on decent clothes, hopefully took a shower and went to another environment. And so there was more insulation around the immediacy between your failure and someone else’s success. But when we look at the millennial generation in general, it’s very mission driven.

Evan Stewart: 08:19 It’s very entrepreneurial, right? Matt Manero talks about this concept and know we have, we know Matt and that’s why I bring him up. He talks about this concept of intrepreneurship over entrepreneurship of how can the people in my business as the business owner be running their own businesses and find fulfillment in an entrepreneurial way without going out and starting something on their own. And I believe that this generation really, I mean, you would have never heard phrases like that years and years and years ago because it was, well, Jason, if you work for me, you do this. And then that’s pretty much it, you know, and it was, the company’s really defined the mission and get that concept for you to drive towards. And that’s still important. But we see this huge paradigm shift now in how people work, how people operate. I mean, think about it, if we would’ve talked 20 years ago and I would’ve said, you don’t even need a college degree to go out and work at some of the best companies in the world and make hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not a million concept. An insane concept. Exactly. Exactly.

Jason Wasser: 09:18 Yeah. That’s incredible. It’s funny as you’re saying that the first thing that pops into my mind about when you start talking about setting goals and building something and being evangelical about it, right? Is, is the idea of we get from a new car smell, right? We go out, we get that new car and we have that fresh fresh feeling and that fresh smell in it. But I think the same thing happens to all of our goals. That once we start getting into that motion of it, then it becomes normalized and then we forget the excitement around it. And I think there’s that level of instant gratification. It’s like you said, right? It doesn’t matter the generation, it’s now being amplified because of social media where we do either that face out there to show that we are so busy, right? We are doing all these things or you’re the person consuming all of it, right?

Jason Wasser: 10:02 So we have, are you creating it or are you consuming it? Paradigm. But I remember this story and when I let’s say I was probably 20 years old and after high school I went to go live in Israel for two years. I went to go study in Israel and then I moved to long island for a little bit and I was teaching at an afterschool religious school, Hebrew school at a synagogue. And part of my responsibilities you know, before when the kids were coming in, like we would rotate around and the teachers would help with the snack bar. And I remember the kids would come in from after school and I’m like, oh, I want this, I want that. And I remember turning to the assistant, the secretary who was helping me on the bar. And I’m like, God, like instant gratification! She turned to me and I remember it like, it was literally five minutes ago and this was in 1998, 1999 when she said this to me, and she goes, instant gratification is no longer fast enough. And that’s the generation, right? So this idea of building a life. Yes. Right. Patience! We have to write purpose first. What’s your purpose? What’s your mission? Right? That’s why the question I wanted to start off with. You’re doing all these crazy things, but what’s your mission? And that’s what I want to really push upon people out there that are listening to your podcast and my podcast to, you know, to people out there consuming all this amazing stuff. What is your purpose? And then are you being patient enough? Absolutely. Right.

Evan Stewart: 11:23 Well and, and, and the caveat to that is I do believe in patience and yes, you know, a lot of people go hat while you’re young. Well, well I come from a line of entrepreneurs and I had my first business in elementary school. So I’ve actually been entrepreneurial all my life and, and, but as far as the success that I’m building off of right now, like the reason we’re having this conversation when we talk about, you know, running an eight figure business and having another seven figure business and being able to impact these people, that took nearly a decade to get there. You know, that type of thing. So when we talk about patients is important to recognize the two things. First of all, when we talk about patients, we’re talking about a patience of years. Warren Buffet even said, I don’t know if it’s been a good investment unless we’ve been at least five years and even then, not until seven to 10 I’m talking about nearly a decade of obedience.

Evan Stewart: 12:09 That’s the first thing. The second thing though is patience does not equate to sitting on your butt and just waiting for things to happen. Yup. Patience is the recognition that there is so much intensity in the work now, but the reward is what you have to be patient for, so you’re mentally sitting down and waiting. You’re sitting on that train waiting to go to the destination mentally, physically, you’re building the train so you can get to the destination. I hear so many people say, Oh man, you just have to be patient. Right. There is Gary. These term that he talks a lot about is short term hustle longterm patience, which is true. But then there’s so many people better stay at home and they’re going out and they’re doing all this. We have man, you know, I’m, I’m just being paient. No, you’re using patience as an excuse to fall into complacency , because you don’t want to really encounter that intensity of work. And, and that, that’s a huge caveat that I want to make sure is if when we talk about patients, it doesn’t mean that you can just sit down all day and wait for things to come to you.

Jason Wasser: 13:13 Well, I think it’s a mixture of right where Matt talks about on his podcast, on the You Need More Money podcasts. Are you in the right platform or are you in the right vertical? And then, right. And then what I think you’re saying when I also share with a lot of my therapy and coaching clients is what’s the right effort? People tell me, right? It’s kind of like I want the, I want the good marriage, right? And we say, my couples come in for therapy and we want to, we want a great marriage. I’m like, okay, well let me ask you a few questions. What, how many you’ve been married for how many years? Yeah. Okay. So how many times have you come to therapy before me? First Session, right? Five years. 10 years, whatever. First therapy session. Okay, cool. I got it. Got It.

Jason Wasser: 13:51 How many, how many books have you read about relationships and you know whatever. Zero. Okay. On podcasts, youtube videos, zero. Conversations with your preacher, your rabbi, your Emam, your guru, anybody? Zero. So they have this idea that like, I want this and you can apply that. Whether it’s a couple, whether it’s a business, whether it’s financial goals, whether it’s health goals, but yet they’re not doing the due diligence. They’re not doing, they’re not becoming informed consumers. And I think that’s the biggest, the biggest limitations that people are talking about. I want, I want, I want, right. The hustle, the grind, the rise and grinders, which you and I, I’m sure I have a very similar opinion on that. Right? Versus are you in the right platform and are you putting in the right effort? Which I think, and I think I think you’ll agree with me is what is your purpose and what are you here to bring into the world?

Evan Stewart: 14:46 Right? Absolutely. Well, and when people talk about the, what you just highlighted is exactly why I’ve really broken down this concept of obsession, exactly why I’m speaking on this. And and later in the year, once I kick it off in July, I’ll be a lot more open with it. I’m just saving it for the event. But, but really what you have exactly described is the emotion, right? That’s step one. But that is where a lot of people end because it’s the quick fix. It’s like it’s like a spark. It just flashes and then it’s out. There are two things that we can do when we’re encountering that mindset. The first one is we can use it as a propellant to move further into action. And the second is we become a victim and we get affected. And so when you say, I want this, the very next thing is you should be moving towards that by finding people that have accomplished it a thousand times above even what your goal is.

Evan Stewart: 15:41 So you can work back from there. And so many people say, I want, but, but that’s it. And then, and then you know, the fact that they’re sitting down with you at that point, you know, in the marital situation. Well that’s, that’s good. That can be the first step to action. But there’s so much that you can do. My number one principle is commit first, figure it out later. And I use that really as an insulator for complacency. And so when I have this feeling of I want, I want an amazing life, my family’s legacy complete and by financial legacy especially, changes with me, right? My, my name, when I leave this earth will be known as one of the people that changed it. And that’s what drives me. And so when I say that I want this, the minute that pops into my mind, I step out and I take action on that.
Evan Stewart: 16:31 So if we use this concept of obsession, my

business obsessed academy. Oh your, you know, you’re a coach and you’re a consultant. Okay. If my goal is to help other people live in giftedness and to inspire impact, improve the lives of other people, to leave people, generations, countries, the world better than I found it. Well, when I’m coaching people and with the podcast and with the videos and with the conference and with the speaking and with engagements and with this and with books, it’s all an extension of that goal. And so everything in Movement, Oh, I’m doing this and doing this and doing this. No, no, no. I’m doing one thing. It’s just manifesting itself in many different verticals because Jason, you may love video and hate reading and somebody that’s watching or listening to this, you may love engaging with that type of content but not want to be doing anything in person. Or You may want to do something in person on a big scale and not in an intimate scale. It’s that inventory slide of business to where I want to make sure that my giftedness and ability to help you find yours is not going to be limited by only having one vertical that you can interact with, that type of thing.

Jason Wasser: 17:29 And I think the accessibility of what technology in 2019 as we are getting closer, this is, this is what’s, I think it was Gary Vaynerchuk, I think who said, if you don’t, if you’re not leveraging this, you don’t exist, right? If you’re a business, if you’re a brand, if you are a professional like us, right? Whether you’re in real estate, whether you’re therapy, whether you’re coaching, if you are not leveraging this and people don’t need that, no one’s going to find you and no one’s gonna. No one’s going to be able to engage with you. But one of the things that you just said, I want to go back to is this the concept of a victim? I talk about this a lot in my practice and I’m Jewish and my family my grandfather, my dad’s side was a holocaust survivor.

Jason Wasser: 18:09 He escaped from one of the trains and Nazi Germany and he came here and he created a furniture business in Scranton, Pennsylvania. It’s now third generation. My brother and sister are taking, I’ve taken it over and they’re expanding wonderfully. But this idea of like coming from a place of victimhood and I always have this to explain to my clients, it’s like you have this idea of being a victim or you have a place of being empowered and you can’t be both at the same time. So I always challenge people to come up with a list of where the things that they have in their beliefs or their experiences that they’re still blaming other things, other experiences, other people for what they’re not getting and really come up with a solid list of genuine, honest list about that. And then where are the things in their life that they’re empowered?

Jason Wasser: 18:51 So, right, this is coming easy to me. This is where I’m taking full control over. This is where, right. I’m committing first and figuring it out later. Like you said, because I have this, this, this idea if you’re a victim, you’re not creating, you’re not moving forward. You’re not creating your mission, your purpose in the world, and you’re just coming up with massive justifications to stay stuck. Yes. Right. So shifting from this victimhood to empowerment, I think what you’re talking about, this concept of being obsessed about one specific thing and then seeing all the different ways it can manifest in the world is such a profound concept. Because we talked about like, oh, I’m obsessed with this car. I’m obsessed with this, with my new Mac. I’m obsessed with Starbucks coffee. Yes. But what we take that for such a I can’t think of the word right now, but we’re taking that on such a light, easy level. It’s

Evan Stewart: 19:41 Like, it’s like saying, you know, like the words, I love you, you know, it’s so easy to fall into, oh man. Well, I, you know, love and obsession and all of these deeply powerful words, you know, the neurological connection of love between the physical environment, the physical self, the emotional, the spiritual, that connection through that word is deeply impactful. And the same thing actually is with obsession. You know, when you on obsessed with this car to start, that’s the number one thing that I, that I, that I’ve been talking about, that’s you’re living in the emotion. You haven’t established the mindset. You haven’t established the discipline, which means that you’ve obtained it, but you can’t sustain it. You see, and that’s, that’s, we keep going back to this concept. I mean the formula works, which is, and that’s the same thing for a lot of things.

Evan Stewart: 20:22 If we want to use the other example like like Whoa, you’re living in the emotion, but you have to sustain, you have to work. The marriage is its own unique being, right? You have to work in the marriage, you have to love your spouse. You have to be, you know, and all of these different ways. It has to be maintained just like your business, just like your work, just like your life. And so the concept of finding one thing and going deep, you know, as a point of action to the listener base, we’re speaking very idealistically and conceptually. So I like to get down to the gritty sometimes and what I’m talking about here is when I say giftedness, what I’m talking about is if you’re listening to this, you very likely know one thing that you’re really, really, really good at. Or if you really haven’t identified that there’s what I call threads and pieces, which is when you go back through your life and you look at what you have done, there are moments of consistency that leads back to one general concept, which usually highlights your gift.

Evan Stewart: 21:18 As an example, Jason. Right now I’m very deeply living in the physical manifestation of my gift, which is to bring clarity to, to really complicate subjects, articulate verbally and empower other people. But even going back then, you know, I’m a classically trained concert pianist, nice to do a music production and that type of thing. But even when I was in music, it was once I would learn, even though I was doing something for, you know, really for me, music was really for me. I would get really good at something and then I would teach it. And when I was working, you know, having a very intense physical training and parkour years ago when I used to do parkout I had learned it and then I taught it. And then way back early in to my days in elementary school, this is not excluding all the other businesses I had been working on through that time.

Evan Stewart: 22:06 But, but from a hobby standpoint, I wanted to be a spy. Right? I thought it was so cool. I bought like a little inspector jacket and then what did I do when I, when I, even when I, when I was a child and I wanted to be a spy, I, I, I learned what I did and then I, I helped other people learn the same. And so when I was identifying giftedness, I went back through my life and the threat of consistency with this concept of being a teacher and leaving people better than I found them all the way through. And so if the listener or the observer that’s that’s interacting with this is thinking, okay, I really don’t know where to start. Well, the, the, the actual point of action to identify your giftedness. If you don’t know what it is truly a need and you don’t have that insight yet, is to look back at your life and think out of everything I’ve done, there’s usually one thing, one concept that’s behind it all.

Evan Stewart: 22:56 And when you can start to get really insightful and look back on your life in that way, that usually gives you the next step to go deeper in your giftedness. So maybe it’s on the teacher, I’m a teacher, I’m a teacher, I’m a teacher, okay, I’m a teacher. But then what was I teaching and how was I teaching and who was I teaching? And then it can lead to the next step, which is, okay, now I’ve got this concept of teachability. How does that play out moving forward? What are the three words is what fascinates, inspires and motivates you. And, and in that concept, and then that usually gets you a step deeper. And, and so the finding that so many people don’t want to do the self insight, but it’s, it, it will change your life.

Jason Wasser: 23:34 Totally game changer. I remember a few months ago, one of my clients, cause I’m coming here, I’m sitting as a therapist and as a coach with my clients and, and I’m not just coming from this, like how does it make you feel? The theology diagnosis, it’s all about strategic. It’s all about solutions. It’s all about beliefs and meanings that you carry and how you play that out and throw that out against the world. And of course that’s why sometimes you get stuck. And one of my clients like, wow, you’re really just like, like a human distiller, right? You’re like a distillery. Like you take all this stuff, you let it marinate, you let it percolate and outcomes this amazing, amazing. Right? And the in the, in the alcohol. But what do they call the thing that comes out? It’s the spirit, right? Yes. So, so I really, my job as a, as a therapist and a coach is to be the distiller of the human spirit. And, and, and I love, right? So that metaphor is just so rich, right? And then they’ll powerful for me. And, and I always loved connecting with people.

Jason Wasser: 24:28 And I used to be the shyest kid in the world. I, I tell my clients, especially my teenage or college age clients, like I barely graduated high school. I had a 1.8 GPA and stuff going on with my family. I didn’t really care about school. I wasn’t a bad student, but I knew I loved connecting with people even though I’m naturally an introvert and people would meet now are shocked to hear that I’m like this, you know, I’m shy and I’m really actually sometimes nervous to go over to, to talk to people. But I love connecting. It’s like the Kevin Bacon game, you know, like, right. So in real life, there’s in the Jewish world we have the, it’s called Jewish geography. Which camp did you go to? Do you know this person? Oh, you lived here, you spent this time here.
Jason Wasser: 25:09 And it’s like your immediate networking connection. It’s like the Linkedin before linkedin was this. So, so it’s funny in this podcast kind of idea came out of who do I know, what have I learned from them? How have they inspired me? Even if they’re new in my life, like you are, but there’s always been something that I’ve distilled and now I can give back from someone like you, someone like Matt or Gary or people I like. I haven’t even met Gary, but, right. And then take that information and then offer that nicer in a, in a more cleaner package, appropriate to whoever I’m sitting in front of. And I love this idea, right? Learn to share, learn to share. That’s just, that’s it. Like, we can stop it right there, right? Although there’s way more for us to tackle. I know you’re working on this massive project right now and you’ve been hinting at it and alluding at it and it’s your, your conference. So let’s talk for a few minutes about that.

Evan Stewart: 26:04 Absolutely. Well, the, the, the reason again, we, we just a couple of minutes ago talked about, you know, the conference being another manifestation of that overarching principle inition but you know, as, as a person who was learning I, there’s a phrase I love called silent mentorship and I didn’t invent it, but I, I honestly don’t remember where it heard it. I just know it didn’t come from me. And silent mentorship was your ability to learn from people you’ve never met through podcasts and videos and that type of thing. So, you know, one of your mentors of this generation could be Gary V. Well, how many of you have actually met and are truly one-to-one mentors? Well, not so much, but because he distributes so much content, you’re able to get that. So what I noticed is going to conferences, you go for closer proximity, saturation and immersion in that type of mentorship.
Evan Stewart: 26:54 But it still was silent in the sense of I wanted accessibility to these people. And as a person who is learning and trying to continue to grow and continue to grow, I mean, once, once my sales package hit really 8 million or excuse me, not 8 million eight figures. I, I looked around and I thought, okay, the leveling up got really, really hard because once you get really to the top or close to it, getting better and better and better get so much harder and so much more expensive. And so I had the season in my life where I was just going to conferences, going to conferences, going to conferences, meeting people, learning, and I kept walking away with two things. Number one, I was motivated because motivation is great. I don’t necessarily believe in like motivating, but I get motivated. I believe it’s just a deeper alignment with your actual and your potential.

Evan Stewart: 27:45 And, and I found I would see that clarity in the conference and, and, and I would get motivated, but that would wash away. And the second is there was no accessibility to the people that truly impacted. There might be accessibility if you buy this, you know, $15,000 VIP mastermind thing. But, but for a normal person, that’s not completely doable and there wasn’t accessibility. And so when I started building relationships with some of these people that I used to see on stage, and we started getting closer and I started having amazing conversations, I thought, you know what? I’m just gonna do it myself. Right? And so what I wanted to create was an environment that was intimate but gave you the points of action over motivation. So it’s not the, you can be better and just do it and be awesome. No, it’s like here are the one, two or three things I did to build a nine figure company or net worth.

Evan Stewart: 28:38 And you can implement immediately. Like, in building a multi hundred million dollar business or you know, it’s not just business as thought leaders, as sales professionals, it’s points of action through vast different industries. And here’s when I did to build my life up to this unbelievable level thousand times, you know, what the average successful person can achieve. Here’s what I wish I knew when I was working at it, or, you know, working up to it and here’s what you can implement immediately. And so the point of action is huge, but then also the accessibility, you know, step off the stage and you can walk up and say [inaudible] whoever you know, Lisa Copeland, one of the top automotive sales experts in the nation. Lisa, I loved what you talked about, about, you know, what you learned here, here, here and here. And I have a question about that. You know, Matt Manero, Judge Graham, myself, rocky Garza, Cody Askins, Coach Michael Burt, who’s got an amazing lineup of professionals and you know, it’s one of those things where if he wants something done, right, just do it yourself. And I kept walking away unfulfilled. I thought, you know what, I’ll just commit first, figure it out later. Right?

Jason Wasser: 29:42 And it is a whole process as I’ve, I’ve done something like that here in south Florida where I was a co-chair of a Ted talk like program which community, and we had over a thousand people for a one day event and every hour. And it wasn’t like there was like a keynote speaker every hour, every hour we had four or five or six speakers in different rooms. So you get to choose, right? We have that going on for the adult program. And then we had a full kids’ program going on parallel to that. So we had a thousand people, it was a one day workshop. So this was like massive, massive, massive undertaking. And it took a team and it takes a village, right? But one of the things that I love about what you’re doing is that you decided to kind of in a way, disrupt that industry, right? People know out there that there these big massive conferences that someone’s trying to get 30,000 people on the Miami Marlins stadium, but the relationships, right. And I went to a conference like that a few months ago and I spent my whole time, there was a few speakers I really wanted to hear like the Jesse Itzler’s and and stuff like that. But my whole purpose of going there was the one on relationships with people I’m not going to get in front of.

Evan Stewart: 30:41 Yes, yes. Well, and that’s the thing is that I, and I talk about this concept on a couple of different podcasts. I know one in particular, my friend traps chapel that runs the podcast, build your network. Just what immediately comes to mind is we had a similar conversation, which is when, when you’re leveling up, accessibility is one of the hardest things to get, but it’s so, so, so important. There’s no shame in paying for accessibility. There’s not, if you have the financial ability to pay to immediately close the gap between you and someone that you have absolutely wanted to meet, there’s no shame in that. Now there is shame in that if you’re trying to leverage that into improper, you know, you have social media posting like, Oh look at my friends and all that. But oftentimes like I have relationships with a lot of people that are much, much, much more significant than even some of the players that we’re talking about from a notoriety standpoint that I don’t even talk about due to the fact that it, the, that relationship isn’t for my publicity is for my growth and it’s for, it’s for our friendship together.
Evan Stewart: 31:43 But some of those relationships started with I’m going to slap down some cash or you know, a coaching session or for a mastermind or for a retreat or something. Knowing that in that environment that, you know, this individual and myself, we’re so aligned that it’s like, and you’ve probably had this thought, if I just spoke to this person, I bet we would connect. Well, this is the ability to do that. And so you’re exactly right. That level of intimacy is huge. But the reason why I believe this is an important step in achieving, not achieving, but a part of achievement. In my mission, which is that looking back at my life and my business, if I had these types of relationships when I’d started out, I’d have $100 million business, not a $35 million business. You know, if I had, if I had the network and the people, I mean the, even just the relationships alone from running with likeminded people towards this common goal.

Evan Stewart: 32:35 You know, when you get in a room of people who are living obsessed lives for trying find obsessed lives or trying to distribute obsession overflow, what that means is that your dialogues already are going to immediately go to impact. Like, Jason, I don’t give a crap about yesterday. I want to know about your mission and your life and you know, and when you can immediately cut to that depth, you can build lasting friendships and relationships. You can make more money just through the people alone before you even get that knowledge and then close the gap between you and people that have achieved on an, on a massive level. And so it’s, it’s huge. There’s no shame in starting off the relationship by paying to get around those people and then the natural relationship can work its way out of that start essentially.

Jason Wasser: 33:18 Well, I think one of the things that helped me back through, right the last three, three and a half years maybe at this point has been this really amazing journey into entrepreneurship. And before that I was a therapist and a healer, right? I’m in my office in Hollywood in Fort Lauderdale and, and you know, I have this little community around me that I have to tap into. And, and then, and then I had a buddy of mine who’s a chiropractor who for almost probably two years, was trying to convince me to come to this workshop in Dallas and this program called Business Finishing School. And I turned him down for probably a year and a half, two years. And I’m like, ah, I don’t know anything. Like I ran away from my family business. If I wanted to do business, I would, I would go to the family furniture business. Im a Therapist.
Jason Wasser: 34:00 Like, I don’t, I don’t touch that. Right? I’ll make my mone

y. It’s not a big deal. And he finally convinced me, I think the ticket, I think the weekend was like $399 for the ticket for the whole weekend. Friday, Saturday, Sunday hotel was like a $150 a night. Right? And then, and then my airfare, right? So let’s say I spend like a thousand bucks, which was a major investment for me as a small business owner. I don’t think at that point I was, I was maybe touching six figures in a business, right? And I was just working hard and serving tons of people, but just not getting my value in return wasn’t coming back in my income, even though I was passionate and love what I’m doing. And I went and I’m hearing this information and Rick Sapio, the Creator business finishing school goes you are an entrepreneur if you clearly define your core values and then you make decisions from that place. So when you have a decision to make about what you want to do in a certain vertical in your life, and you know your core values about that, and you say, does this align with my core values? Yes. Does this align with my core values? No. Then you’re an entrepreneur. Yes. I’m like, Oh, oh, okay, that makes sense. And then here’s what happens from that. And I also had the pay to play, like you talked about. Like the more I put in, the more I invest and I’m realizing like my investment in that weekend has related, has turned into having a person, like a relationship with someone like Matt Manero who was in my accountability group, which then from there made me realize my own personal value of what I bring to the table.

Jason Wasser: 35:30 I’m not just this like small guy in south Florida. Like I can actually bring value to people outside of this office. And then sitting in front of, and then right. Having the, the, the Chutzpah, the audacity to walk up to coach Burt at the 10X conference in Vegas two years ago, introduced myself and then get connected through social and then started doing some work with him and his team. Right. And then meet you and then meet all these other people. And it started from the idea of me letting go of the belief of one, I’m not significant enough. Two, I don’t have enough money to do it because I didn’t have enough money to do it and I decided there’s a credit card as the income that has come with it. The influence has come with it. The relationships have come with it. I would not be doing this.

Jason Wasser: 36:12 What I’m doing with you now had that started three years ago, so patiece right back to that. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. This was a lot of doubts too. Like who am I to podcast another person with a freaking podcast, right? Who am I? But I’m being ballsy and I think that’s one of the things when you’re talking about this mentorship by proxy, one of the most beautiful things is that like what I now use, right? As a therapist, we always talk about like what are the resources we can offer our clients? What’s the book you suggest. Podcast. Oh my lord, it’s free, right? So I am clients listening to the MFCEO podcast. I have people, one of my clients is literally planning to leave his job as a technician at a, at a dealership and trying to build this whole massive thing on the side because I hooked him up with Matt’s podcast.

Jason Wasser: 36:57 Right. And here’s the crazy thing. He’s now become obsessed with it and he listens to it while he’s working. And and they got married recently. My client and his and his partner and when I was last at the business finishing school conference a few months ago with Matt, it was the same weekend of their wedding. So I go over to Matt, I’m like, Hey, you know, Matt, I need a huge favor from you, my clients weddings this weekend. He’s totally turned on. He’s doing crazy things because of listening to your podcast and the work we’re doing. You might taking like a minute to like just record a video with me as a gift. And he was, the smile that was on Matt’s face, he was just like so happy to do it. So Gracious. And my clients freaked out. Right? And all I got back was the text message.

Jason Wasser: 37:40 I sent it on whatsapp. It’s like, was that Matt Manero, holy crap. Like so when you’re talking about this mentorship by proxy and then leveraging relationships, it was such a gift for me to be able to do that for somebody else. Yes. Not Because, oh these people that I’m starting to know are killing it in the world and look at me. No. Right. It’s, I just want to help and this is what I know you’re obsessed about doing is helping people have that emotion that’s going to motivate them, turn them on and get them to the next level. Cause we limit our stuff. Absolutely right. And I remember this, and I remember this story, I was on a panel conversation with a bunch of therapists here in south Florida and they were talking about business growth and the worst people to be in a room talking about business growth as a bunch of therapists because until two years ago, there was no such thing as any of this stuff. How dare I put myself out there and ask, right? So they were talking about the six figure business. How do I hit six figures, a hundred grand? And I’m thinking like this is crazy. They’re just talking about this six figure business. I’m like, if you have a $100,000 business, that means your business is making $100,000 you are not making $100,000.

Evan Stewart: 38:50 Yeah, that’s exactly what that means. That’s exactly what that means. You know, I, I love that. You know, I, I hear a lot of people talk about, and I, I love the fact that you allude to do that of, you know, well it’s that if I’m make this at one Simon totality, once I make this, once I do this, once this happens and that doesn’t bring fulfillment, but from a business standpoint, well I need to build a business that’s $100,000 well that means you’re probably making between 40 maybe 60 maybe 60 and without trying to sound disrespectful, $60,000 doesn’t get you very far. And so if you want to make a hundred like shoot for the million dollar business, cause when you fall it’ll still be three 50 you know like I’ve in in my pursuit of my business, it wasn’t I need to make 100,000 it was I need to make millions.

Evan Stewart: 39:37 So I fall back to at the worst case, high hundreds, low millions, you know, in personal income, which means that the business needs to make tens of millions of dollars, you know, that type of thing. And so, but one thing that you, you alluded to that I definitely don’t want to miss, so I’m going to touch on it real quick about business finishing school and all of that. The thousand dollar investment, I believe that you pay attention to what you pay for. And oftentimes one of the best motivators is commitment. If you’re going to commit first, figure it out later, right? If you’re going to drop the time, drop the money, make that happen, you’re going to go with more of a mindset of okay, I’m here. I need to get the best investment and be more open to it. You know, if that ticket was $49 or $29, it wouldn’t nearly be the same, that type of thing.

Evan Stewart: 40:20 But the, the, the, the thought that immediately comes out, well that was a lot of money for me as you said. That’s why you need to go, not why you don’t. You see, if you’re looking at something like that and you’re thinking, wow, that $300 ticket or, wow, that airfare, wow, wow, that’s a lot of money. That’s why you need to be there or not. The reason you don’t, because those environments make a thousand dollar investments insignificant over the course of years. And so there’s this justification of, Oh man, I need to walk away. No, you need to go all in. Like, so literally, there are people that I’m coaching right now that I’m working with that have refinanced cars, sold TVs. I mean, I mean, there’s a client I’m working with in particular that was is in a similar field as you, you know, and the therapy and the counseling and consulting.

Evan Stewart: 41:03 And when we started working for working together this client night she was not, not, it didn’t have a great business. He had a great practice yet. And and, and in the sense of, you know, great financial Lee and it was a hardship and we had conversations, should I be here, should I not, should I do this? Should I not going back and forth in doubt and that, and then they’ll tell you what my, my consulting fee for her business, my coaching fee for her as an individual was significant part of her income when we started. I mean, I, I’m not, don’t want to give anything away, but I’m going, it was, I don’t know how she made it happen. She made it happen. That’s all I’m going to say. When this year is our third year working together already this year, she’s made more money in the first six months that she has an any other year and she will within three, three year period between nine and 11 times her income over the last year and a half, two years.

Evan Stewart: 42:03 And so when you look at that, I’m not saying that I’m great, I’m saying that your ability to get clarity is what’s great. Coach Burt says you can’t see the picture when you’re inside the frame. But if you’re sitting there looking at a blank wall saying, somebody tell me, talk to someone that actually knows what to do, someone that’s actually done it. I can’t teach you how to become a billionaire because I’m not a billionaire yet, but I can teach you how to build a couple million, tens of million dollar company. I can teach you how to hire the right people. You know, that type of thing. People that have actually done it. I think that’s so, so, so important. So not to go down the rabbit hole too deep, but I w I love just bringing that concept of like, Oh man, you know, that’s a lot of money. Yeah. That’s why you need to, like if you’re thinking that that should be the trigger to hit buy right there and to put yourself in that environment.

Jason Wasser: 42:50 Right. And on a very practical relationship to that story. Is that right? At that time, that weekend, right. It was not just the conference, but I chose to buy into the whole curriculum program, which is a couple thousand dollars and I’m looking back now, I’m like, that was a big, that was probably outside of like maybe buying a car or graduate school. That was the biggest financial investment I’ve ever made in myself. Right. And let’s say it was a couple thousand dollars over the course of four years, which like like, oh my God, $4,000 $5,000 whatever it is, but right. If you average it out, it’s really nothing. But that investment has put me in front of people and propelled, like catapulted me to a whole different place that my life I would not be in unless I made that fearful, scared. Oh my God, how am I going to pay this bill?

Jason Wasser: 43:35 To the point of like where I’m now doing one day programs that are equivalent to that four year investment one day and to see that trajectory change that I never thought I would do that. I jumped on a plane for one day thing to go to Nashville to coach Burt’s person of interest day to jump in and jump out. And one day it would have been absurd a few years ago. And yes. And I want to just touch back on this one other thing is, you know, there’s a huge difference and, and, and I’m sure we can talk a little bit more about this, is there’s a huge difference in being great at what you do versus running a great business about what you do.

Evan Stewart: 44:13 100%. And that’s the absolute truth. You know, I alluded to this a little while ago, but one of my, my, my passions is music. I Love, Love, love music. You know, I mentioned that I’m, I’m classically trained. I used to do a piano and my specialty was Chopin and rochmoninov. And after that I did I worked in music production and you know, toured around and did the fun stuff. And the reason why that didn’t come to fruition to be something bigger is because the the, when I was producing and performing the person in my group, I had one other person and the problem that we had was I wanted to run it like a business and he wanted to run it like a musician and so just because like you said, you’re good at something doesn’t mean that you’re good at running the business, but you need to have the business mentality and have the self insight in the sense of everything that you do should be business oriented in the sense of if you’re a great artist, your life doesn’t become great just because you necessarily paint.

Evan Stewart: 45:16 That usually happens after you die, right? If you’re a great artist, then find someone who’s a great manager. Find someone who’s a great PR person, get people connected in your life. It doesn’t mean that you have to be a business person. You can still live in your, in your, in your art, in your gift, whether it’s music, whether it’s art, whether it’s therapy, whether it’s accounting, if you just work in that one frame, but then delegate to make sure that you do in fact have a business that’s monumental. Now my one of my gifts does happen to be business. I had some great mentors and, and business comes naturally to me. So it worked out to where that happens to fall into one of my strengths. But it doesn’t for most people. And so if it doesn’t, what I encourage you to consider is find people in your life who can help you construct that actual business around what you do and what you do so well. So that way you can propel your ability to impact other people. You can propel your finances forward. You’ve got to have both. You’ve got to have both.

Jason Wasser: 46:15 It’s so funny cause I stopped looking at people within my own little niche, my own little field. Cause we’re all colleagues and we’re all kind of doing the same. I don’t have this universal belief of competition. Right? I have literally the wall right behind me, there’s a psychiatrist after that, while there’s two other therapists down below me, there’s another therapist, right? I have probably eight other therapists in the building that I’m in. Sure, sure. None of them are competition, but they’re all playing small. So I’m now looking to people who are the biggest people in my industry were related to my industry or influencers that have at or trying to help maximize people’s potential that I can literally hack, not stealing, but what are they doing that’s so successful and just implement that for my own personality and my own ethics in my own core values.

Jason Wasser: 47:00 Absolutely. And I think that’s something that people are missing out. It’s like, and I tell this to my clients all the time, it’s like especially when they’re trying to figure out their career or their a high school student or college kid and they’re trying to figure out what they want to do. I’m like, okay, well don’t tell me who you know locally that you might have seen growing up doing that. Who’s the top person now that you can research and find in that industry. And a lot of times you’ll find that, which is the whole e-myth and the whole you know, what a lot of other of our associates talk about is right, that the entrepreneur, the manager technician perspective is that what you learned to be a technician about right as a realtor, as a therapist as great is we can only do so much. We can only get paid when we’re doing the work we do and we’re not getting paid more. We’re not doing the work we doing. Right? But how do you build something where it’s not relying around you where you’re not superman or superwoman doing everything and this mindset shift, this disruption of that is a very big challenge. What you’re talking about before about who can go and create a multimillion dollar business, $100 million business without going to school. And that’s such a crazy indoctrination opposite to what we’ve been indoctrinated in. Right? Exactly.

Evan Stewart: 48:02 Exactly. Well, and you touched on one thing at the very, very, very beginning of this episode, kind of making full circle. You talked about, you just glossed over it real quick about the vehicle and the vehicle is huge. You could be the most talented person and have $100 million idea, but be in a vehicle that can get you there, right? It’s like going down the race track, but you’re in a Ford focus instead of the Lamborghini. You’ll get to the end, but it won’t have the same result. And one thing that was, I mean, honestly, Jason, this was a hard thing for me to learn was the vehicle. And the vehicle for me has changed significantly over the years. I mean, even now, real estate isn’t the vehicle. Real estate gave me the platform of validity to build them a massive, massive, massive book of business. So when I spoke to people about business, about closing, mastering the sell cycle, objections management, people knew that it wasn’t full of crap because I’ve done it.

Evan Stewart: 48:55 And then with the obsessed academy, building that into, you know, the, the business that is, and that’s still growing pretty significantly. You know, that gave me the platform of validity, but even real estate wasn’t the vehicle for my giftedness. It was getting me to the right vehicle. And so that’s a really hard concept to, to master. At least it was for me personally, to have the self-insight to look at my life and say what I know isn’t what I need to be doing right now. And so if you’re listening to this podcast and you’re considering your own vehicle, there are a few questions I encourage you to think about. The first one is with all the truth and self-insight and allowing yourself to give yourself some grace to think is truly is the world, the environment, the vehicle you’re in, the job, that professional, whatever you want to call it, able to get you to where you want to go.

Evan Stewart: 49:43 Is the path easy? Is it frictionless? Is it easy as you get more intense? You know, if you think about, look back at music cause I have built a massive, massive, massive business in music. Sure, sure people have done it. But when you look at that path, the, the, the, because there’s so much outside of your control, you have to get found. You have to do all this, that the ability to get there is so intense. And then even when I was there, when I started recognizing that I wanted to impact and improve the lives of other people, I recognized that music was not the main vertical for that. You know, that type of thing. Business wasn’t the main vertical for that. And even real estate has a lesser version of that. But then when you’re, when you’re asking yourself these questions, the next thought is recognizing that usually when there’s friction and movement, you look at your life, you say, this is not what I’m necessarily supposed to be doing.

Evan Stewart: 50:36 When there’s friction and movement, it usually comes because your identity has been grounded in your actions instead of grounded in your mission, grounded in something that is translatable to any environment. And so my identity was grounded in me as a blank instead of me as Evan and I can transfer to different environments. And that when, when that identity shift happens, it gives you the ability to have freedom and flexibility and movement. I am not afraid of having my name and title. I’ll give you an example. Yesterday evening there was a big event in Dallas where I’m supposed to be, you know, honored as one of the top agents in the city and real estate and all of this great stuff. And without sounding like a piece of crap, I didn’t go why? It just, it didn’t matter because my identity isn’t grounded in that. I tell you what I did is I stayed home, I worked actually, I was showing property and I was working on a obsessed academy.

Evan Stewart: 51:32 And then later that evening I had dinner with my wife and that was great. And I, my identity years and years ago, I would have been there to be seen in all that. But my identity is grounded in myself, not in people’s perceptions of my actions. And so that’s one of the biggest paradigm shifts for leading into this concept of obsession or this concept that you’re talking about, about living in, in, in, you know, your gift. And being able to impact other people. Your, your placement of your identities is really one place where that starts. And that’s one of the hardest ones to move. Once you move that boulder, you can usually work with the other ones pretty easily.

Jason Wasser: 52:09 It’s so massive. It’s so massive. Cause a lot of times we’re coming from a place of ego and not from a place of purpose. Right? And how many things that we are all doing out there, myself included on looking good, wanting to look good, making sure that we get it right before we put it out there. And I know Hank Norman is very, very, very big about this. It’s just, just push record and just push it out. It doesn’t matter where, it doesn’t matter if you stutter, it doesn’t matter, right? Just put it out if it’s aligned with your mission, your purpose, your values. And I think that’s a really, you know, I guess the last question I was going to ask you is right. If this concept that I love from coach Burt is this good for all time zones, right? Whether you’re in a, you know, Latin America, whether you’re hanging out in the deep south, whether you’re in LA right, that you’re gonna find something where you’re relatable to every single person, right. That you can come across and that you’re going to connect to them and they’re going to connect to you no matter their background or experience.

Jason Wasser: 53:05 What is your good for all times ? That if you can just still an everything down that you have learned in life into two minutes or so. Good for all time zones teaching

Evan Stewart: 53:18 Thats a powerful question. You know, I think the, the concept that I’m working with that’s really translatable across everything goes back to that concept of obsession and giftedness. And the reason why I think that’s good for all time zones is because everyone, regardless of where they are, know that there’s something inside them that has the potential to, to, to allow their life to be better and they’re impacted their legacy to be better. And so my good for all time zones is just identifying, regardless of your background, regardless of where you come from, regardless of where you live, everyone knows that they have this internal opportunity to be able to do something great. Now you can listen to it or you can’t, you can push it down or you can’t. We all know people that have the overarching angst and anxiety and stresses from this, pushing that down. My good for all times zones going to be regardless of where I’m at, regardless of where you’re at, listener or observer, you know that there’s something you could be doing that’s, that’s more great. Tim Story says, once you’ve touched the fire, you can’t go back to living in the smoke. And so my, my translatable thought to that would be what is it? First of all that you believe it all things aside, money is no object, not what is one thing that you would just take action on and do regardless of the outcome if everything else is taken care of. What would inspire fascinating, motivate you every single day for as long as you lived. Then action. And then with that concept of once you’ve touched the fire, you can’t go back to living in the smoke. We usually glimpse these opportunities in our life of touching the fire, touching the fire and touching the fire. And I in fact can get you really excited. My thought would be looking back at your life, where’s the time that you’ve done that, but you take your hand off and why and how do we reverse that to make sure that you stay and live in that purpose. So I don’t know if that quite answered your question, but I believe that that concept can inspire action regardless of the background, regardless of socioeconomic status or racial status or marital status or anything, regardless of where you’re at. Because it talks deep down to our own sense of humanity over who you are in your environment.

Jason Wasser: 55:31 And the beautiful thing about what you’re saying on top of everything else is if you’re having struggles and those self doubt and those uncertainty or lack of clarity, there are people like you and I out there to help everybody to drill down and get really, really clear. So there really is no excuse anymore to not figure this out. And I really think that that, that, that good for all time zones on one foot is, is so powerful. So how can we find you, right? There’s so much going on in your world that you’re, you’re, you’re, you’re offering so much to, to our community of, of growers and learners. Right. I know you have your, your academy and you’re doing your podcast and this conference. So just let everybody know a little bit about how they can find you, follow you, connect with you, hang out with a person.

Evan Stewart: 56:17 Absolutely. One super active on social. So all of my handles are at realEvanstewart.Stewart is s t e w. A. R. T. A of course, the conference is huge. There’s an opportunity to you know, to meet me, meet these other speakers and, and for listening to this, and you’re really kind of on the fence about that environment. Just, just commit first and figured out where, and you have my word that it will be life changing. That is obsessed and you can actually use this code for your audience. It’s Evan19 to get 10% off your ticket there. That’s really the best place to start. You know, I believe in immersion over exposure. And if you go to my social, this slide to my DNS, I’m super active. I’m very, very accessible. You already know listener, I believe in accessibility. But and then if you’re ever in Dallas, just, you know, hit me up.

Evan Stewart: 57:03 I love, love, love working with one-on-ones love working with individuals. If you’re looking to find clarity and find purpose through a relationship with someone who’s dedicated his life to doing that, that’s what I’m here for. So but, but from the super light touch to engaging on social media all the way down into the depth of that relationship, there’s tons of opportunities to, to interact. So yeah, no I, I’m, I’m accessible and you know, I really, really appreciate you allowing me that to be on your platform Jason and, and share my message with your audience. Hope it brought value to you guys.

Jason Wasser: 57:32 Tremendous, tremendous value. I really want to thank you again and I really also want to congratulate you on winning life and I’m knowing that as people probably are going to relisten to this, this episode, right? There’s so much meatiness that we, that I got out of it and hopefully your listeners will get out of it. Right. This is definitely one of the ones that are going to be hopefully reviewed over and over again. So thank you for joining us and I’m really looking forward to hanging out with you soon in person as well.

Jason Wasser: 57:54 I’m looking forward to it. Thank you. Awesome. Thanks.
Speaker 1: 57:58 Thanks for listening to the you winning life podcast. If you are ready to minimize your personal and professional struggles and maximize your potential, we would love it if you subscribed so you don’t miss an episode. You can follow us on Instagram and Facebook at you winning life.


Jason Wasser, LMFT is a Florida Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Neuro Emotional Technique Practitioner and Certified Entrepreneur Coach.
He runs a full service online Therapy & Coaching practice in South Florida and is the host of the You Winning Life Podcast.

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