I recently took a continuing education workshop based on Dr. John Gottman’s Relationships Counseling theory. The instructor repeated the following idea over and over throughout the entire weekend. “Become and ally when your partner vents vs siding with the “enemy” will avoid the relationship from totally falling apart”
Even if you totally agree with the criticism that is being shared, the best approach is to stay with your partner from their perspective as best as possible, support them through the conflict and at another time bring up what you agree with.
Again, never side with the enemy even if you 100% agree with them! Don’t rush to solve the problem. Ask open ended questions that don’t lead to an outcomes that alleviates it for you vs their needs!
Managing conflict is one of the floors of Dr. Gottman’s Sound Relationship House.
If you and a loved one are struggling through a romantic relationship, we are here to help!
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