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Will couple’s counseling ‘fix’ your relationship? This is a question with no easy answer. Couple’s counseling or marriage counseling can help couples work through issues that may have arisen over time. It could head off issues before they become relationship-threatening.
What does couple’s counseling look at?
- Communication issues
- Sexual problems
- Anger and resentments
- Financial issues
- How you interact with in-laws
- How you approach parenting
Should you wait until your relationship feels as though it is at the point of no return before you schedule a teletherapy appointment with Jason Wasser, LMFT?
No. Unfortunately, many couples to push off having any kind of difficult or self-reflective conversations until trust has been broken or until words have been said that cannot be taken back.
If your way of resolving a dispute is to walk away or ignore it or even to turn to alcohol – it may be time to have a sit-down with an impartial party. Sometimes couples seek counseling to prevent issues from arising. For example, who will be responsible for household chores, who pays the bills, picks up the children from school and many other issues.
Will Couple’s Counseling ‘Fix’ Your Relationship?
Other couples make counseling a last-ditch effort to salvage a relationship that has burned out. A relationship may be at the precipice because of repeated fights, infidelities or being ignored or not feeling listened to or having your opinion considered or valued.
Couples looking to find that spark of love they once had and who are committed to getting to the root of relationship issues, can benefit from counseling. Both couples do need to be committed to saving the relationship and to participating in the sessions.
Not all marriage counseling sessions will result in reconciliation. Sometimes marriage, or couple’s counseling, shows you what you’ve already known, but haven’t wanted to face – that it’s best to simply move on.
What can marriage, or couple’s counseling do?
- It could help couples learn how to communicate
- Couples can walk away with the tools necessary to resolve disputes
- It teaches couples how to argue in a healthy way – not all disputes need to be relationship-breakers
- It usually involves a few sessions to help you work through an immediate crisis or to work on long unresolved issues
How to determine whether your relationship would benefit
No matter how much you love your partner – not all relationships are perfect. You may not have loud or frequent arguments, but there are small items that over time could lead to resentments. If, for example, you feel your contributions to the household – financially or otherwise aren’t appreciated it could cause resentment. You may love to cook, but if no one helps with clean-up or even with offering a suggestion for meals or even offering to cook on occasion, you may feel resentful.
Opposites may attract, but opposites also mean you and your partner have very different communication styles and ways in which you deal with daily living.
If you’re not certain couple’s or marriage counseling is for you, here are some topics about which you would discuss with a licensed marriage and family counselor about:
- Substance or alcohol abuse
- Physical or emotional abuse
- Financial issues
- Blending families
- Cultural differences or misunderstandings
- Changing lifestyle/roles – retirement or having to move for a job
- Sexual difficulty or loss of sexual attraction/desire
What should you expect from couple’s counseling?
Let me say that first, you need to wait until your relationship is floundering or troubled before you seek counseling. If you’re wondering if couple’s counseling will ‘fix’ your relationship, you need to know — deep in your heart — whether you want it fixed.
Marriage counseling can strengthen your bond and help you gain a deeper understanding of your unique personalities and ways in which you cope with what life throws at you.
What will happen during a typical counseling session?
Your therapist will work with you to help pinpoint the sources of conflicts and he or she will offer tools on how to resolve them.
- You and your partner will need to openly acknowledge the good and bad parts of the relationship
- You will both talk about what you’re hoping to gain from the counseling sessions. For example, better ways to communicate and understand one another, how to solidify your relationship and shore up those areas that may be faulty
- If you and your partner are at the stage in your relationship that the only way in which you communicate is to fight – bring that to the session. Your counselor or therapist is accustomed to individuals in emotional turmoil
If your partner isn’t willing to attend counseling, it may make it more difficult to address the rifts in the relationship. Counseling could benefit you as you look for ways to relate with your partner and to understand how you’re reacting to what’s happening in the relationship.
Reach out. Call our office and set up a teletherapy appointment. We have methods and strategies for reducing stress and helping you stay emotionally and physically healthier.
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